Be it syllogism or paradox…
* Raw translation from a Spanish chain-mail with Google Translator *
Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons …
The neurons that die are the weakest …
If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent …
Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter.
Syllogism 2
When we drink too much alcohol drunk …
When we are drunk we sleep …
While we sleep we commit no sin …
If you do not commit sins go to heaven …
Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk.
Syllogism 3:
Today, workers have no time for anything …
But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world …
Time is money …
So the more money you have lazy workers …
Conclusion: To be rich is not working.
Syllogism 4
Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all …
The more cheese, more holes …
Each hole is the place where there should be cheese …
Therefore, the more holes less cheese …
The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese …
Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese.
Syllogism 5
I think, therefore I …
Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women …
My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman …
If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool …
And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone …
Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar!
Syllogism 6
Madruga Whom God helps …
Who gives madruga sleep early …
Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon …
Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night …
Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda …
Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda.
Syllogism 7
I always say that I am a nobody …
Nobody is perfect …
Conclusion: So, I am perfect …
Syllogism 8
If you send this, because it had nothing to do …
If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then …
If you have nothing to do …
Send it to as many people as you can
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Translation: Spanish » English | |
| SILOGISMO 1 Beber alcohol mata a las neuronas… Las neuronas que mueren son las más débiles… Si mueren las más débiles quedan las más fuertes e inteligentes… Conclusión: Cuanto más alcohol bebo más inteligente me hago. SILOGISMO 2 Cuando bebemos alcohol en exceso acabamos borrachos… Cuando estamos borrachos dormimos… Mientras dormimos no cometemos pecados… Si no cometemos pecados vamos al cielo… Conclusión: Para ir al cielo hay que ser un borracho. SILOGISMO 3: Hoy en día los trabajadores no tienen tiempo para nada… Sin embargo sabemos que los vagos tienen todo el tiempo del mundo… El tiempo es dinero… Por tanto los vagos tienen más dinero que los trabajadores… Conclusión: Para ser rico no hay que trabajar. SILOGISMO 4 Imagínate un trozo de queso suizo todo lleno de agujeros… cuanto más queso mas agujeros… Cada agujero ocupa el lugar en el que debería haber queso… Por lo tanto, cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Cuanto más queso, más agujeros y cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Conclusión: Cuanto más queso menos queso. SILOGISMO 5 Pienso, luego existo… Las mujeres tontas no piensan, por tanto, las mujeres tontas no existen… Mi amigo dice que no es gay porque sale con una mujer inteligente… Si una mujer inteligente saliese con mi amigo sería una tonta… Y Como las mujeres tontas no existen, mi amigo no sale con nadie… Conclusión: Mi amigo es un gay y un mentiroso !!! SILOGISMO 6 A quien madruga Dios le ayuda… Quien madruga le da sueño temprano… Quien le da sueño temprano duerme por la tarde… Quien duerme por la tarde no duerme por la noche… Quien no duerme por la noche sale de parranda… Conclusión: Dios ayuda a los que salen de parranda. SILOGISMO 7 Siempre me dicen que soy un don nadie… Nadie es perfecto… Conclusión: Entonces, yo soy perfecto… SILOGISMO 8 Si te envié esto, es porque no tenía nada que hacer… Si lo estás leyendo es porque tampoco tienes nada que hacer entonces… Si no tienes nada que hacer… Envíalo a más personas que estén de webonas igual que TÚ yYO… Conclusión Final… ‘La weba no se crea, ni se destruye solo se transmite’… ja ja ja
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Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons … The neurons that die are the weakest … If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent … Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter. Syllogism 2 When we drink too much alcohol drunk … Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk. 3 syllogism: Today, workers have no time for anything … Conclusion: To be rich is not working. Syllogism 4 Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese. Syllogism 5 Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar! Syllogism 6 Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda. Syllogism 7 Conclusion: So, I am perfect … Syllogism 8 If you have nothing to do … Send it to more people who are webonas like you yYO … Final Conclusion … ‘The WEBA not created nor destroyed only transmitting “… ja ja ja |
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New Chemical Element Found: Woman
Note: This is a joke originated in Spanish and was transliterated using Google Translator:
ATTENTION
New element in the periodic table. Did you know him?
NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT: WOMAN
Analysis Department
1 .- Chemical Analysis:
Element: Woman
Symbol: Mu
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: 53.6 kg appropriate. (but varies between 40 and 150 kg …)
Frequency: abundant quantities in all urban areas.
2 .- Physical Properties
a. – Surface usually covered with a coat of paint
b. – Hierve spontaneously freezes for unknown reasons.
c. – It melts if given special treatment
d. – Becomes bitter if you are not used correctly.
e. – is rarely found in nature in the virgin state.
f. – Cede under pressure on specific points.
3 .- Chemical
a. – has great attraction for gold, silver and a wide range of precious stones.
b. – Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
c. – May explode spontaneously without prior warning and without apparent reason.
d. – is insoluble in liquids and its activity is increased by saturation in alcohol.
e. – It is the money reducing agent known to the most powerful man.
4 .- Common uses:
a. – Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b. – can be very helpful for relaxation.
c. .- very effective cleaning agent.
5 .- Tests:
a. – The pure sample turns pink when it was discovered in its natural state.
b. – It turns green when placed beside a better sign.
6 .- Potential Hazards:
a. – Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
b. – It is illegal to possess more than one, although it can be in several different locations, while not in contact, in which case a violent explosion is inevitable.
Warnings:
a. – No two alike.
b. – While it seems an abundant element, is considered a scarce resource because it is not easy in a good state, so what value it has.
Please ensure wide distribution of this document, due to its high scientific value.
風水鴨之歌
世纪賤男哨牙通 厚顏無恥正衰公 不學無術四圍貢 咁啱吼到孖辮龔
老公被綁失埋蹤 六神無主任慫恿 呃神騙鬼發嗡風 又睇風水又掘窿
把口勁過洪朝豐 氹到甜甜芳心動 古井翻波起暗涌 褲頭荷包齊齊鬆
呃完幾億仲呻窮 成副身家都想擁 笑口噬噬臉不紅 砣衰男人真無用
可憐嬌妻扮哂懵 為咗銀紙強忍痛 此案攪到滿城瘋 茶餘飯後談興濃
皆勸未來主人翁 學睇風水咪搵工 億萬身家輕輕鬆 何必捱到眼朦朦
Do Fathers Deserve a Treat on This Majestic Day?
Scolding, reprimanding, punishments…..these are typical fathers’ behaviour. Are fathers too harsh, too unreasonable, too unemotional, too heartless….
Celebrate Tony Wong’s (黃志華) Life at Markham Civic Centre
Please attend the following memorial to celebrate the passing of a great leader and founder of Hong Kong Link:
Date: June 21, 2009 (Sunday)
Time: 2pm – 4pm
Place: Markham Civic Centre, Councillor Chamber
101 Town Centre Blvd, Markham, ON, L3R 9W3
CRÈME CARAMEL RECIPE
Ingredients:
1) Eggs: If using extra large: 3 whole eggs + 3 egg yolks only
for regular size: 4 whole eggs + 2 egg yolks only
2) 2 cans (740 ml) evaporated milk + 160 ml of regular milk. For lighter version: 1 can (370 ml) evaporated milk + 530 ml of regular milk
3) Vanila extract: 3 tsp
4) White sugar for custard: ½ cup
5) White sugar for caramel: ¾ cup
6) Ovenproof dish (I use Pyrus 24cm pie dish)
Method:
1) Caramel preparation: Place ¾ cup of white sugar in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Cook for 2-3 minutes, then keep stirring with a metal spoon, for another 2-3 minutes until sugar dissolves and turns to a deep caramel colour.
2) Pour caramel into a baking dish and let it flow evenly over base of the dish.
3) Preheat oven to 325◦F.
4) Combine evaporated milk +regular milk+vanilla+sugar(1/2cup) into the same saucepan when making the caramel. Stir over medium heat until hot. Remove from heat.
5) Whisk eggs + egg yolks in a large bowl. Slowly add hot milk mixture, stir constantly.
6) Strain custard into the baking dish.
7) Water bath: Place a tea towel in base of a roasting pan (to stop baking dish base overheating). Place dish on tea towel. Pour boiling water into roasting pan for ½ inch deep.
Bake for 50 min at 325F or until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.
9) Cool at room temperature. Refrigerate for not less than 6 hours. Run a toothpick around edge of custard and invert onto a plate to serve.
Decode Your Tongue 見脷辨色
Source: Lifescript
Most people ignore their hardest-working muscle: the tongue. Sure, you appreciate it when its 9,000 taste buds are wowed by sinfully-rich chocolate or spicy salsa. But did you know it can clue you into what’s happening in your body?
Doctors do. That’s why they ask you to “open up and say, ‘Ahhhh.’” They know the tongue offers a window into your health.
An inflamed tongue may mean you’re lacking vitamin B
. A swollen tongue? Possibly hypothyroidism. And, as moms know, tongue ulcers pop up when kids have a fever.
But practitioners of ancient Chinese medicine believe the tongue can tell us even more….
Wait for your turn, even if you are planning to rob a bank
Fri Jan 9, 8:21 PM
By The Associated Press
STOW, Ohio – An Ohio man may have tipped off his intentions when he stood in line at a bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup.
Police in Stow say Feliks Goldshtein was arrested following a brief car chase. Police say the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. The man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and demanded money from the teller.
He made off with an undisclosed amount.
Police Captain Rick Myers says it’s unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.
The 24-year-old man was jailed on charges of aggravated robbery and failure to comply with a police order.
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Recent
- Be it syllogism or paradox…
- New Chemical Element Found: Woman
- 風水鴨之歌
- Do Fathers Deserve a Treat on This Majestic Day?
- Celebrate Tony Wong’s (黃志華) Life at Markham Civic Centre
- CRÈME CARAMEL RECIPE
- 六四二十週年: 送給天安門毋親
- Decode Your Tongue 見脷辨色
- 103
- Wait for your turn, even if you are planning to rob a bank
- 85
- 支持 《零八憲章》, 支持釋放劉曉波
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