獨孤求丙

獨孤求丙

Be it syllogism or paradox…

* Raw translation from a Spanish chain-mail with Google Translator *

Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons …
The neurons that die are the weakest …

If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent …

Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter.

Syllogism 2

When we drink too much alcohol drunk …
When we are drunk we sleep …
While we sleep we commit no sin …
If you do not commit sins go to heaven …

Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk.

Syllogism 3:

Today, workers have no time for anything …
But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world …
Time is money …
So the more money you have lazy workers …

Conclusion: To be rich is not working.

Syllogism 4
Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all …
The more cheese, more holes …
Each hole is the place where there should be cheese …
Therefore, the more holes less cheese …
The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese …

Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese.

Syllogism 5
I think, therefore I …
Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women …
My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman …
If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool …
And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone …

Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar!

Syllogism 6
Madruga Whom God helps …
Who gives madruga sleep early …
Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon …
Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night …
Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda …

Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda.

Syllogism 7
I always say that I am a nobody …
Nobody is perfect …

Conclusion: So, I am perfect …

Syllogism 8
If you send this, because it had nothing to do …
If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then …

If you have nothing to do …

Send it to as many people as you can

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Translation: Spanish » English
SILOGISMO 1 Beber alcohol mata a las neuronas… Las neuronas que mueren son las más débiles… Si mueren las más débiles quedan las más fuertes e inteligentes… Conclusión: Cuanto más alcohol bebo más inteligente me hago. SILOGISMO 2 Cuando bebemos alcohol en exceso acabamos borrachos… Cuando estamos borrachos dormimos… Mientras dormimos no cometemos pecados… Si no cometemos pecados vamos al cielo… Conclusión: Para ir al cielo hay que ser un borracho. SILOGISMO 3: Hoy en día los trabajadores no tienen tiempo para nada… Sin embargo sabemos que los vagos tienen todo el tiempo del mundo… El tiempo es dinero… Por tanto los vagos tienen más dinero que los trabajadores… Conclusión: Para ser rico no hay que trabajar. SILOGISMO 4 Imagínate un trozo de queso suizo todo lleno de agujeros… cuanto más queso mas agujeros… Cada agujero ocupa el lugar en el que debería haber queso… Por lo tanto, cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Cuanto más queso, más agujeros y cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Conclusión: Cuanto más queso menos queso. SILOGISMO 5 Pienso, luego existo… Las mujeres tontas no piensan, por tanto, las mujeres tontas no existen… Mi amigo dice que no es gay porque sale con una mujer inteligente… Si una mujer inteligente saliese con mi amigo sería una tonta… Y Como las mujeres tontas no existen, mi amigo no sale con nadie… Conclusión: Mi amigo es un gay y un mentiroso !!! SILOGISMO 6 A quien madruga Dios le ayuda… Quien madruga le da sueño temprano… Quien le da sueño temprano duerme por la tarde… Quien duerme por la tarde no duerme por la noche… Quien no duerme por la noche sale de parranda… Conclusión: Dios ayuda a los que salen de parranda. SILOGISMO 7 Siempre me dicen que soy un don nadie… Nadie es perfecto… Conclusión: Entonces, yo soy perfecto… SILOGISMO 8 Si te envié esto, es porque no tenía nada que hacer… Si lo estás leyendo es porque tampoco tienes nada que hacer entonces… Si no tienes nada que hacer… Envíalo a más personas que estén de webonas igual que TÚ yYO… Conclusión Final… ‘La weba no se crea, ni se destruye solo se transmite’… ja ja ja

//

Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons …
The neurons that die are the weakest …

If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent …

Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter.

Syllogism 2

When we drink too much alcohol drunk …
When we are drunk we sleep …
While we sleep we commit no sin …
If you do not commit sins go to heaven …

Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk.

3 syllogism:

Today, workers have no time for anything …
But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world …
Time is money …
So the more money you have lazy workers …

Conclusion: To be rich is not working.

Syllogism 4
Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all …
The more cheese, more holes …
Each hole is the place where there should be cheese …
Therefore, the more holes less cheese …
The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese …

Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese.

Syllogism 5
I think, therefore I …
Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women …
My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman …
If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool …
And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone …

Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar!

Syllogism 6
Madruga Whom God helps …
Who gives madruga sleep early …
Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon …
Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night …
Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda …

Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda.

Syllogism 7
I always say that I am a nobody …
Nobody is perfect …

Conclusion: So, I am perfect …

Syllogism 8
If you send this, because it had nothing to do …
If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then …

If you have nothing to do …

Send it to more people who are webonas like you yYO …

Final Conclusion … ‘The WEBA not created nor destroyed only transmitting “… ja ja ja

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// Contribute a better translation
We’ll use your suggestion to improve translation quality in future updates to our system. Syllogism 1 <br> Drinking alcohol kills neurons … <br> The neurons that die are the weakest … <br> <br> If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent … <br> <br> Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 2 <br> <br> When we drink too much alcohol drunk … <br> When we are drunk we sleep … <br> While we sleep we commit no sin … <br> If you do not commit sins go to heaven … <br> <br> Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk. <br> <br> <br> 3 syllogism: <br> <br> Today, workers have no time for anything … <br> But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world … <br> Time is money … <br> So the more money you have lazy workers … <br> <br> Conclusion: To be rich is not working. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 4 <br> Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all … <br> The more cheese, more holes … <br> Each hole is the place where there should be cheese … <br> Therefore, the more holes less cheese … <br> The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese … <br> <br> Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 5 <br> I think, therefore I … <br> Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women … <br> My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman … <br> If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool … <br> And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone … <br> <br> Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar! <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 6 <br> Madruga Whom God helps … <br> Who gives madruga sleep early … <br> Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon … <br> Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night … <br> Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda … <br> <br> Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 7 <br> I always say that I am a nobody … <br> Nobody is perfect … <br> <br> Conclusion: So, I am perfect … <br> <br> Syllogism 8 <br> If you send this, because it had nothing to do … <br> If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then … <br> <br> If you have nothing to do … <br> <br> Send it to more people who are webonas like you yYO … <br> <br>  Final Conclusion … ‘The WEBA not created nor destroyed only transmitting &quot;… ja ja ja <br>
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July 14, 2009 Posted by | Jokes | 2 Comments

New Chemical Element Found: Woman

Note: This is a joke originated in Spanish and was transliterated using Google Translator:

ATTENTION

New element in the periodic table. Did you know him?

NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT: WOMAN

Analysis Department

1 .- Chemical Analysis:
Element: Woman
Symbol: Mu
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: 53.6 kg appropriate. (but varies between 40 and 150 kg …)
Frequency: abundant quantities in all urban areas.

2 .- Physical Properties
a. – Surface usually covered with a coat of paint
b. – Hierve spontaneously freezes for unknown reasons.
c. – It melts if given special treatment
d. – Becomes bitter if you are not used correctly.
e. – is rarely found in nature in the virgin state.
f. – Cede under pressure on specific points.

3 .- Chemical
a. – has great attraction for gold, silver and a wide range of precious stones.
b. – Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
c. – May explode spontaneously without prior warning and without apparent reason.
d. – is insoluble in liquids and its activity is increased by saturation in alcohol.
e. – It is the money reducing agent known to the most powerful man.

4 .- Common uses:
a. – Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b. – can be very helpful for relaxation.
c. .- very effective cleaning agent.

5 .- Tests:

a. – The pure sample turns pink when it was discovered in its natural state.
b. – It turns green when placed beside a better sign.

6 .- Potential Hazards:

a. – Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
b. – It is illegal to possess more than one, although it can be in several different locations, while not in contact, in which case a violent explosion is inevitable.

Warnings:

a. – No two alike.
b. – While it seems an abundant element, is considered a scarce resource because it is not easy in a good state, so what value it has.

Please ensure wide distribution of this document, due to its high scientific value.

July 12, 2009 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment