獨孤求丙

獨孤求丙

Call me an Antichrist and I’m honoured!

(If you need me to translate the following in a particular language of your choice, just give me a shout)

Being a Buddhist and a regular Baptist church-goer, I can’t help but to regularly point out a plethora of ignorant, ridiculous, superstitious beliefs Christians all hold dear and near to their precarious hearts. These similarities and commonalities among Christians are both astonishing and appalling, to say the least, and happen under my observance day after day, month after month, and year after year! First off, perhaps I should make a pledge before some Christian could claim, on the day I die, that I was a believer of God since I had been attending a Baptist church for so many years:

“If I’d ever walk in front of a crowd to pledge my allegiance to “God”, that is, for that matter, the Christian God, someone should dial 911 at that moment and send me to the nearest psychiatric facility to fix me up!”

If, by chance, a Christian happens to be a passerby to this blog, let me ask you these questions and I am open to accept any answers that are scientifically and/or conscientiously proven (remember: not pseudo-scientifically proven):

1. When was the Earth born? Around 6,000 years ago as what the Bible states, or around 6.4 billion years as dated and cross-checked by various radioactive isotopes such as Uranium-Uranium dating with a half-life of about 4.5 billion years? If you claim that these radioactive isotopes are not accurate at all, you may try to devise a scientific method to disprove their validity since archaeologists have been using these radiometric dating methods to verify their accuracy for more than a century or so.

2. Noah’s Ark has been abandoned and toned down by some denominations of Christianity, yet other denominations still believe in this fairy tale! Again, if someone’s family can demonstrate to me that, within their lifetimes, they can collect all the species including birds and other reptiles, one male and one female each on this planet (about 1.3 million species known today), transport them to a ship he/she built for those animals, trap them, feed them, and then sail them into the sea for months and the animals can still live to propagate their species, I would be a true believer RIGHT in that instant without any hesitation!

3. If evolution was a fairy tale, then the “creator” of humans must have done a pretty lousy and sloppy job “creating” our bodies because a lot of our bones and body parts are actually not usable and have become redundant already.

4. If evolution was a fairy tale, why can we even simulate evolution in the lab. If these are only steps of “micro-evolution”, how could it be possible that small steps of evolution are possible but bigger steps are impossible in the long run?

5. Even though most Christians have never heard of “Lucy”, this first but only one of many half-ape-half-human beings who died more than a million years ago have now surfaced. If practically watching our ancestors come to life is still not a solid proof that we evolved from the chimpanzee family (or, in layperson’s term, apes), yet a “God” with his magic wand is our creator, could we simply call this belief superstitious, in the very definition of the word by all dictionaries known to us?

6. If God could exist without any predecessor or father, why are Christians so certain that the universe, which began with only inorganic elements, couldn’t have existed without any predecessor or father? Which one is more credible then? An omnipotent “God” or inorganic matter?

7. If God is merciful, why could he possibly authorize genocide by stereotyping that people of xxx origin are all wicked?

8. If Samson’s story was true, then this God must be a merciless God, playing with people’s lives just to test a psychopath’s faith with Him!

9. If Jonah could live in a “big fish’s” (presumably a whale’s) stomach for three days and still come out alive to tell the story, Jonah must have had the ability to demonstrate that complex organisms don’t need oxygen to live!

10. Show me the chemical reaction to change water into wine. Did Jesus know that alcohol is damaging to brain cells and liver? If alcohol was good, why didn’t he turn grass into marijuana then because marijuana is actually a known pain killer?

11. If “only God has the power to decide on our fate to live or die” so euthanasia is out of the question, this God must be a sadistic God since countless patients suffering from terminal diseases have suffered and still are suffering with no end of their pains in sight!

12. Research after research, Christians seem to be the least intelligent of mankind! Studies have shown that atheists actually know religion much better than believers? Just Google and you’ll know.

13. According to Leviticus, Chapters 18 and 20, “Thou Shalt not lie with mankind…..both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death…” How could this kind of hatred be allowed to be propagated against people with different sexual orientation than heterosexuals? If these statements don’t constitute hate crime, I don’t know what does?

14. Paul: “No one comes to the Father except through Me”. Does that mean infants and babies always go to hell if they don’t live long enough to learn anything about religion? Does that mean Ghandi and all tribesmen who have died are all in hell?

15. Why do Christians all insist that Buddhists believe in false Gods when Buddhism is well known by scholars and Buddhists themselves as non-deistic?

16. Why do I invariably see Christians treat animals as if they had no life and are here just to “serve man” when we have already proven that a lot of animals, not just dogs and cats but other animals like octopus as well, have higher intelligence than we used to know? I know this idea comes from Genesis but don’t you think killing animals that obviously have feelings like you and me shouldn’t be that great of an idea after all, despite what the Bible professes?

17. Whenever science advances one step further, religious leaders always have to be creative to come up with another lie to cover up their fairy tales. Look at Lucy that practically blows the cover on creationism. Look at the new Kepler-22b planet that proves to be habitable by humans and possibly other living things about 600 light years away from our mother Earth. This proves that we are not unique, as claimed by Christians that we are the own proud children of “God” since the Earth was thrown in this habitable orbit by design!

18. If anyone in his adulthood feels that fairy tales like Adam and Even with a talking snake, Jesus weighing more than 100 lbs or so could walk on water, Samson with the ability to kill 1,000 men and split a lion into pieces could possibly be true, earthquake ordered by God shattering a prison and freeing those prisoners locked up in the cells did happen, et al, are not childish and silly enough, he really needs to return back to a kindergarten class and enjoy other fairy tales told by the teachers!

Observing the illogical and manipulative arguments used by Christians (and all other religions from the Abrahamic origin) of all colours and stripes to defend a religion that is worse than believing in the “powers of a stone”, I (and other more inquisitive coworkers of mine who actually have critical thinking skills) attended a Buddhist assembly for more than half a year and this is what I found out:

Buddhism versus Christianity

Christianity:

Divinity: There is only one omnipresent, almighty personal God
Baits: Mostly fear mongering using an imaginary “hell” as the ultimate punishment and a non-existent “heaven” in the sky as the final reward. Other baits include offering help to the needy and then luring them to church; using standardized well thought-out moves and recited passages to convince non-believers by “visiting” them at their home but in fact trapping them there for hours to force them to listen to their recitals; et al.
Inclusiveness: All other religions lead to nowhere but hell
Reincarnation: No such thing (at least this is what Christians have all believed after the 1st century AD)
Practice outside the religion (such as Feng Shui and Qigong): Prohibited or denounced, even yoga is seen as an evil practice by some Christians
Knowledge Outside or Even Inside the Realm of Religion: Very limited

Buddhism:

Divinity: “God” or “Gods” exist only if you wish so. On upper levels of practice, there is absolutely no God.
Rewards to Believers: Nirvana, relieve and a peaceful inner-self.
Inclusiveness: Atheists and religious followers in any religion could end up in nirvana as long as they don’t do evil.
Reincarnation: Reincarnation exists and is proven by many otherwise inexplicable incidents in the course of human history. You may read a host of books, articles, etc. and watch youtube videos on reincarnation (including one incident involving a Christian couple) to convince yourself if you are a non-believer of reincarnation.
Practice outside the religion (such as Feng Shui and Qigong): No prohibition whatsoever as long as the practice helps your well being.
Knowledge Outside and Inside the Realm of Religion: Since there is no prohibition on other practices, disciples are open to learn basically anything, including walking into a Christian church and learning about Christianity.

That said, even Christians themselves know that converting a Buddhist to a Christian is next to impossible! Ever wonder why communist countries, from time to time, foster dissidents that flee to freer and more democratic jurisdictions but not the other way around? In my case, I go to church every Sunday, just to please my wife, but can see how indoctrinated Christianity is just to protect a dying religion! Yes, one has to be genuinely narrow-minded and literally blinded to look elsewhere in order to have “faith” in a religion that supports superstition; homophobia; suffering all the way through the final days/months/years in death bed; ignorance in other religions; prohibiting kids to have fun on Halloween; faith in fairy tales that are plain silly; pastors and disciples to hide their emotions; using manipulation and aggression to lure non-believers; killing animals; violence against blasphemy and other “pagans”; closed-mindedness….and the list goes on, and on, and on….

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December 6, 2011 Posted by | Religious BS | Leave a comment

Freedom Vigil to honour Aung San Suu Kyi and human rights defenders

June 8, 2010 Posted by | Current Events | Leave a comment

A Christian’s Attack on Buddhism, Feng Shui, and Qigong – 走出風水陣

Ref: http://www.torontostm.com/truthmonthly/86/01.html

Here is my email to the pastor in response to the above article:

Dear Rev. Tse,

Thank you so much for responding to my email, Rev. Tse.

As a Buddhist, I also find some other unfair remarks made by the author of  走出風水陣 since the article should have been re-titled as 走出氣功陣! Yes,  qigong, or 氣功, is a debatable practice of breathing techniques that could have therapeutic value but, then again, sometimes could lead to serious pathological implications and complications if practised “incorrectly”.  The problem with qigong is to define one’s comfort zone and what should be considered acceptably and correctly safe and unsafe practice, which is totally outside the scope of the context of my email.

What I find disturbing is that the author used guilty by association to relate Buddhism and Feng Shui (風水) to qigong.

Firstly, the author mentioned his cardiac disorder and was totally cured after giving up  three of his favourite pastime, namely Buddhism, qigong and Feng Shui. I really cannot see why Buddhism can be a cause for his cardiac disorder but Feng Shui and qigong could definitely be the culprit .  In other words, if he were a Christian while he was practising qigong,  it would have brought him good health too for abandoning qigong and Christianity at the same time!  A noteworthy point about qigong is that qigong is not practised only by a select few of Buddhists, it is also practised by Taoists, martial artists and the general public who might be fascinated by some of the promises (sometimes false promises) made by the qigong practitioners

Secondly,  Feng Shui, a unique branch of Chinese studies, is widely accepted in the non-Christian world as a study of the environment and its effect on oneself.  Yes, I concur that there are elements of Feng Shui that could find their roots in some unknown means that could be branded superstition, especially by Christians, but dismissing Feng Shui totally as something evil, I think, is quite irresponsible.

Sorry for seemingly ranting non-stop but I promise this will be the last of my emails expressing  discontent with the articles in the Truth Monthly.

Again, thank you so much for your time both in reading my emails and for producing an excellent newspaper for both Christians and non-Christians alike.

April 25, 2010 Posted by | Religious BS | Leave a comment

Letter to Truth Monthly: Ann Coulter, NOT Ann Coutler

Ref: http://www.torontostm.com/truthmonthly/86/03.html

Dear Editor,

I would like to express my congratulations and gratitude towards a newspaper well done in an interesting and informative manner. Being a Buddhist of Hong Kong descend who goes to Sunday service every Sunday, fellowship every other Saturday or so, and bible study every month, I really enjoyed reading your Vol. 86 published in April 2010.

One thing I would like to point out though is the typographical errors contained on page 3 of the volume in question. Here are the errors I noticed when I read the paper:  Ann Coulter was published as Ann Coutler throughout the entire article. With its root from an erroneous translation, 谷娜 was used instead of something like 谷特, as in 波特 for Potter.

Another thing I should point out is the slight bias of the author of this article from 銀禧社.

Ann Coulter is an American right-wing author, social and political commentator, as well as a syndicated columnist. I love her liberal way of thinking in the seas of political correctness influenced by Islamic activists and extremists. However, in all fairness, 銀禧社 should have reported on her famous quotes, such as: “Muslims should be on a no fly list & to ride a magic carpet”. Although I find her statements entertaining and justified, at least to a certain extent, avoiding her most famous quotes in the subject article unequivocally contributes to a biased report of what happened in Ottawa. This, I think, is stretching the truth a bit.

I trust the Truth Monthly will publish a correction note in the next issue and that 銀禧社 will be notified of this serious error.

April 23, 2010 Posted by | Current Events | Leave a comment

強烈譴責中共重判劉曉波 Chinese dissident gets 11 years for subversion

在舉世歡度聖誕之時,中共當局作出了令世人震驚的判決,以顛覆國家政權罪判處《零八憲章》的起草人之一劉曉波11年監禁。對中共倒行逆施、以言治罪的流氓行徑,溫哥華支援民主運動聯合會表示強烈的憤怒和抗議,並譴責中共的偽善和霸道。

中國近年崛起國際舞台,然而卻絲毫沒有大國風範。現在偷偷摸摸判處劉曉波重刑,再次證明了中共逆世界潮流的逆根性:普通百姓的權益和普世價值觀,在他們的眼中一錢不值,相反卻淪為他們達到其自私自利目的的工具。

中共對劉曉波的審判是一場政治審判。劉曉波多年來,秉持良心和正義,為弱勢群體仗義執言,為中國的人權民主事業嘔心瀝血,深受海內外各界人士的敬重。中共對劉曉波的影響力越來越懼怕,於是對他羅織罪名,判以重刑。從抓捕到關押、審判,都完完全全是一場政治迫害。

劉曉波在中共的眼皮底下,多年來撰寫發表了大量的文章,之前少有地受到中共的阻撓。但是,當劉曉波等人起草了《零八憲章》之後,卻算總帳,把之前的文章也當作所謂的「犯罪證據」。

中共對劉曉波的審判再次立下了危險的先例。從八九天安門運動以來,中共全力發展經濟,對中國的異議分子主要採取流放和利誘的較溫和手段,極少用判重刑的方法來處罰知名異議人士。然而判處劉曉波11年徒刑,說明中共已經放棄溫和手段,而是更專橫粗暴的鎮壓。

中共對劉曉波審判也證明中共與融入世界大家庭的格格不入。劉曉波的膽識受到了全世界的稱讚,劉曉波案也吸引了全世界的目光,甚至劉曉波審判時,許多國家的代表不邀而至要求旁聽。然而,就在各國歡迎中共進入世界大家庭、擁抱普世價值觀之時,中共不僅把要求聽審的各國代表拒之千里之外,更對劉曉波判以重刑。

中共偷偷摸摸地、違法地關押了劉曉波超過一年,可見他們羅織劉曉波罪名之不易;然而,「閉門」審判一天就完畢,可見審訊之匆匆,也就可想見審訊之「草」。而審判甚至不許家人旁聽,也就可知中共之虛偽與膽怯了。

法庭內劉曉波的無罪辯護被法官當作了耳邊風,而法庭外異議分子的聲援改變不了法庭的意向,法庭前的黃絲帶帶不回劉曉波的自由。夫復何言!

最後,溫哥華支援民主運動聯合會強烈要求中共開放黨禁報禁,停止封殺《零八憲章》,實現真正的言論自由;立即撤消對劉曉波的審判,釋放劉曉波!並釋放所有異議人士!

溫哥華支援民主運動聯合會

12月24日

Source: http://www.thestar.com/news/world/china/article/742751–chinese-dissident-gets-11-years-for-subversion?bn=1

BEIJING–A Chinese court sentenced a prominent dissident to 11 years on Friday – the longest term ever handed down for subversion charges, according to rights groups that say it signals the government will take an increasingly hard line against activists in the year ahead.

The sentencing of Liu Xiaobo, after he called for sweeping political reforms and an end to Communist Party dominance, also drew diplomatic criticism, with the United States saying it went against international norms.

Liu was the co-author of an unusually direct appeal for political liberalization in China called Charter 08. He was detained just before it was released last December. More than 300 people, including some of China’s top intellectuals, signed it.

The verdict was issued at the No. 1 Intermediate People’s Court in Beijing after a two-hour trial Wednesday in which prosecutors accused Liu of “serious” crimes.

The vaguely worded charge of inciting to subvert state power is routinely used to jail dissidents. Liu could have been sentenced for up to 15 years in prison under the charge.

A San Francisco-based human rights group, the Dui Hua Foundation, said it was the longest sentence that it knew of since the crime of inciting subversion was established in 1997.

The state-run Xinhua news agency only reported the news in English – a sign the government does not want its people to know about Liu’s case. Instead, the top Xinhua headline in Chinese declared 2009 a year of “citizens’ rights.”

The United States and European Union have repeatedly urged Beijing to free Liu.

“We are deeply concerned by the sentence of 11 years in prison announced today,” Gregory May, first secretary with the U.S. Embassy, told reporters outside the courthouse. May was one of a dozen diplomats stopped by authorities from attending the trial and sentencing.

“Persecution of individuals for the peaceful expression of political views is inconsistent with internationally recognized norms of human rights,” May said.

Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu told reporters this week that statements from embassies calling for Liu’s release were “a gross interference of China’s internal affairs.”

The U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights Navi Pillay expressed concern Friday, calling the sentence a setback for Chinese activists.

“Cases such as that of Liu Xiaobo risk not just halting, but seriously reversing that momentum” toward increasing democratic freedoms in China, she said.

New York-based Human Rights Watch said the ruling showed the government would be taking a hard line against human rights activists in the year ahead.

“This verdict is also an explicit warning from the government to China’s intellectuals, civil society activists and human rights defenders that the state will severely punish those who the government perceives as a threat to its monopoly on power,” said the group’s Asia researcher, Phelim Kine.

Another rights group, Chinese Human Rights Defenders, said the ruling shows the government is bent on thwarting any reform and is using the courts to silence its critics.

“Giving such a long sentence to one of China’s most prominent dissident intellectuals is a clear sign that the Chinese government is further hardening its stance against political dissent,” said Renee Xia, the group’s international director.

The defendant’s wife, Liu Xia, told The Associated Press that her husband planned to appeal. “Our lawyers are going to talk to the authorities next week about the appeal,” Liu Xia said. She said her husband looked calm and asked about family and friends during a brief meeting after the sentencing.

Liu is the only person to have been arrested for organizing the Charter 08 appeal, but others who signed it have reported being harassed.

Abolishing the law on inciting to subvert state power is among the reforms advocated in Charter 08. “We should end the practice of viewing words as crimes,” the petition says.

Liu, a former Beijing Normal University professor, spent 20 months in jail for joining the 1989 student-led protests in Tiananmen Square, which ended when the government called in the military – killing hundreds, perhaps thousands.

Charter 08 demands a new constitution guaranteeing human rights, the open election of public officials, and freedom of religion and expression. Some 10,000 people have signed it in the past year, though a news blackout and Internet censorship have left most Chinese unaware that it exists.

December 25, 2009 Posted by | Current Events | , | Leave a comment

Be it syllogism or paradox…

* Raw translation from a Spanish chain-mail with Google Translator *

Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons …
The neurons that die are the weakest …

If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent …

Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter.

Syllogism 2

When we drink too much alcohol drunk …
When we are drunk we sleep …
While we sleep we commit no sin …
If you do not commit sins go to heaven …

Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk.

Syllogism 3:

Today, workers have no time for anything …
But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world …
Time is money …
So the more money you have lazy workers …

Conclusion: To be rich is not working.

Syllogism 4
Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all …
The more cheese, more holes …
Each hole is the place where there should be cheese …
Therefore, the more holes less cheese …
The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese …

Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese.

Syllogism 5
I think, therefore I …
Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women …
My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman …
If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool …
And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone …

Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar!

Syllogism 6
Madruga Whom God helps …
Who gives madruga sleep early …
Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon …
Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night …
Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda …

Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda.

Syllogism 7
I always say that I am a nobody …
Nobody is perfect …

Conclusion: So, I am perfect …

Syllogism 8
If you send this, because it had nothing to do …
If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then …

If you have nothing to do …

Send it to as many people as you can

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Translation: Spanish » English
SILOGISMO 1 Beber alcohol mata a las neuronas… Las neuronas que mueren son las más débiles… Si mueren las más débiles quedan las más fuertes e inteligentes… Conclusión: Cuanto más alcohol bebo más inteligente me hago. SILOGISMO 2 Cuando bebemos alcohol en exceso acabamos borrachos… Cuando estamos borrachos dormimos… Mientras dormimos no cometemos pecados… Si no cometemos pecados vamos al cielo… Conclusión: Para ir al cielo hay que ser un borracho. SILOGISMO 3: Hoy en día los trabajadores no tienen tiempo para nada… Sin embargo sabemos que los vagos tienen todo el tiempo del mundo… El tiempo es dinero… Por tanto los vagos tienen más dinero que los trabajadores… Conclusión: Para ser rico no hay que trabajar. SILOGISMO 4 Imagínate un trozo de queso suizo todo lleno de agujeros… cuanto más queso mas agujeros… Cada agujero ocupa el lugar en el que debería haber queso… Por lo tanto, cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Cuanto más queso, más agujeros y cuanto más agujeros menos queso… Conclusión: Cuanto más queso menos queso. SILOGISMO 5 Pienso, luego existo… Las mujeres tontas no piensan, por tanto, las mujeres tontas no existen… Mi amigo dice que no es gay porque sale con una mujer inteligente… Si una mujer inteligente saliese con mi amigo sería una tonta… Y Como las mujeres tontas no existen, mi amigo no sale con nadie… Conclusión: Mi amigo es un gay y un mentiroso !!! SILOGISMO 6 A quien madruga Dios le ayuda… Quien madruga le da sueño temprano… Quien le da sueño temprano duerme por la tarde… Quien duerme por la tarde no duerme por la noche… Quien no duerme por la noche sale de parranda… Conclusión: Dios ayuda a los que salen de parranda. SILOGISMO 7 Siempre me dicen que soy un don nadie… Nadie es perfecto… Conclusión: Entonces, yo soy perfecto… SILOGISMO 8 Si te envié esto, es porque no tenía nada que hacer… Si lo estás leyendo es porque tampoco tienes nada que hacer entonces… Si no tienes nada que hacer… Envíalo a más personas que estén de webonas igual que TÚ yYO… Conclusión Final… ‘La weba no se crea, ni se destruye solo se transmite’… ja ja ja

//

Syllogism 1
Drinking alcohol kills neurons …
The neurons that die are the weakest …

If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent …

Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter.

Syllogism 2

When we drink too much alcohol drunk …
When we are drunk we sleep …
While we sleep we commit no sin …
If you do not commit sins go to heaven …

Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk.

3 syllogism:

Today, workers have no time for anything …
But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world …
Time is money …
So the more money you have lazy workers …

Conclusion: To be rich is not working.

Syllogism 4
Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all …
The more cheese, more holes …
Each hole is the place where there should be cheese …
Therefore, the more holes less cheese …
The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese …

Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese.

Syllogism 5
I think, therefore I …
Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women …
My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman …
If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool …
And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone …

Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar!

Syllogism 6
Madruga Whom God helps …
Who gives madruga sleep early …
Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon …
Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night …
Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda …

Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda.

Syllogism 7
I always say that I am a nobody …
Nobody is perfect …

Conclusion: So, I am perfect …

Syllogism 8
If you send this, because it had nothing to do …
If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then …

If you have nothing to do …

Send it to more people who are webonas like you yYO …

Final Conclusion … ‘The WEBA not created nor destroyed only transmitting “… ja ja ja

SpanishEnglish—Detect language—AlbanianArabicBulgarianCatalanChineseCroatianCzechDanishDutchEnglishEstonianFilipinoFinnishFrenchGalicianGermanGreekHebrewHindiHungarianIndonesianItalianJapaneseKoreanLatvianLithuanianMalteseNorwegianPersian ALPHAPolishPortugueseRomanianRussianSerbianSlovakSlovenianSpanishSwedishThaiTurkishUkrainianVietnamese > EnglishChinese (Traditional)—AlbanianArabicBulgarianCatalanChinese (Simplified)Chinese (Traditional)CroatianCzechDanishDutchEnglishEstonianFilipinoFinnishFrenchGalicianGermanGreekHebrewHindiHungarianIndonesianItalianJapaneseKoreanLatvianLithuanianMalteseNorwegianPersian ALPHAPolishPortugueseRomanianRussianSerbianSlovakSlovenianSpanishSwedishThaiTurkishUkrainianVietnamese swap
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We’ll use your suggestion to improve translation quality in future updates to our system. Syllogism 1 <br> Drinking alcohol kills neurons … <br> The neurons that die are the weakest … <br> <br> If the weak are killed the most powerful and intelligent … <br> <br> Conclusion: The more alcohol I drink smarter. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 2 <br> <br> When we drink too much alcohol drunk … <br> When we are drunk we sleep … <br> While we sleep we commit no sin … <br> If you do not commit sins go to heaven … <br> <br> Conclusion: To go to heaven you have to be a drunk. <br> <br> <br> 3 syllogism: <br> <br> Today, workers have no time for anything … <br> But we know that vagrants have all the time in the world … <br> Time is money … <br> So the more money you have lazy workers … <br> <br> Conclusion: To be rich is not working. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 4 <br> Imagine a piece of Swiss cheese full of holes all … <br> The more cheese, more holes … <br> Each hole is the place where there should be cheese … <br> Therefore, the more holes less cheese … <br> The more cheese, more holes and more holes less cheese … <br> <br> Conclusion: The more cheese, less cheese. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 5 <br> I think, therefore I … <br> Stupid women do not think, therefore there are no dumb women … <br> My friend said it was not because gay dating a smart woman … <br> If a smart woman would be leaving with my friend a fool … <br> And as women there are no silly, my friend does not come out with anyone … <br> <br> Conclusion: My friend is a gay and a liar! <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 6 <br> Madruga Whom God helps … <br> Who gives madruga sleep early … <br> Who gets sleep sleep early in the afternoon … <br> Who sleeps in the afternoon does not sleep at night … <br> Who does not sleep at night leaves parranda … <br> <br> Conclusion: God helps those who are parranda. <br> <br> <br> Syllogism 7 <br> I always say that I am a nobody … <br> Nobody is perfect … <br> <br> Conclusion: So, I am perfect … <br> <br> Syllogism 8 <br> If you send this, because it had nothing to do … <br> If you’re reading is not because you have nothing to do then … <br> <br> If you have nothing to do … <br> <br> Send it to more people who are webonas like you yYO … <br> <br>  Final Conclusion … ‘The WEBA not created nor destroyed only transmitting &quot;… ja ja ja <br>

July 14, 2009 Posted by | Jokes | 2 Comments

New Chemical Element Found: Woman

Note: This is a joke originated in Spanish and was transliterated using Google Translator:

ATTENTION

New element in the periodic table. Did you know him?

NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT: WOMAN

Analysis Department

1 .- Chemical Analysis:
Element: Woman
Symbol: Mu
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: 53.6 kg appropriate. (but varies between 40 and 150 kg …)
Frequency: abundant quantities in all urban areas.

2 .- Physical Properties
a. – Surface usually covered with a coat of paint
b. – Hierve spontaneously freezes for unknown reasons.
c. – It melts if given special treatment
d. – Becomes bitter if you are not used correctly.
e. – is rarely found in nature in the virgin state.
f. – Cede under pressure on specific points.

3 .- Chemical
a. – has great attraction for gold, silver and a wide range of precious stones.
b. – Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
c. – May explode spontaneously without prior warning and without apparent reason.
d. – is insoluble in liquids and its activity is increased by saturation in alcohol.
e. – It is the money reducing agent known to the most powerful man.

4 .- Common uses:
a. – Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b. – can be very helpful for relaxation.
c. .- very effective cleaning agent.

5 .- Tests:

a. – The pure sample turns pink when it was discovered in its natural state.
b. – It turns green when placed beside a better sign.

6 .- Potential Hazards:

a. – Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
b. – It is illegal to possess more than one, although it can be in several different locations, while not in contact, in which case a violent explosion is inevitable.

Warnings:

a. – No two alike.
b. – While it seems an abundant element, is considered a scarce resource because it is not easy in a good state, so what value it has.

Please ensure wide distribution of this document, due to its high scientific value.

July 12, 2009 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment

風水鴨之歌

世纪賤男哨牙通    厚顏無恥正衰公    不學無術四圍貢    咁啱吼到孖辮龔

老公被綁失埋蹤    六神無主任慫恿    呃神騙鬼發嗡風    又睇風水又掘窿

把口勁過洪朝豐    氹到甜甜芳心動    古井翻波起暗涌    褲頭荷包齊齊鬆

呃完幾億仲呻窮    成副身家都想擁    笑口噬噬臉不紅    砣衰男人真無用

可憐嬌妻扮哂懵    為咗銀紙強忍痛    此案攪到滿城瘋    茶餘飯後談興濃

皆勸未來主人翁    學睇風水咪搵工    億萬身家輕輕鬆    何必捱到眼朦朦

June 28, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Do Fathers Deserve a Treat on This Majestic Day?

Scolding, reprimanding, punishments…..these are typical fathers’ behaviour. Are fathers too harsh, too unreasonable, too unemotional, too heartless….

June 21, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Celebrate Tony Wong’s (黃志華) Life at Markham Civic Centre

Please attend the following memorial to celebrate the passing of a great leader and founder of Hong Kong Link:

Date: June 21, 2009 (Sunday)

Time: 2pm – 4pm

Place: Markham Civic Centre,  Councillor Chamber

101 Town Centre Blvd,  Markham, ON, L3R 9W3

June 19, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment